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Pain really sucks...

July 27th, 2017

Late night musings... So tired of my pain, physical f-ing pain that takes on a life of it's own. Pain in the morning stiffness, I always say and make a joke "Hey, I need an oil can...?" (like from the "Wizard of Oz" movie - when they meet the Tin Man and he's so rusted out and can't move). Then it's more pain throughout the day, then pain at night, pain when you sleep or try to turn in the bed at night. So tired of NOT being able to do the things I want to do in life. Tired of the autoimmune disease wracking my body it is literally hell on earth! No cure, yeah I'm f*cked, and the sad thing is NO ONE understands, not even those closest to you...until they go through it themselves. Talk about loneliness and feeling so alone, again no one knows the depths of suffering I go through on a daily basis. It literally feels like you got "Rigor Mortis" so damn stiff, like a walking corpse is how I explain this sh!t. So tired of even simple things, how it's hard. Even doing my art takes a toll on me, and I love doing it....but even this can make me suffer for days after just to re-calibrate.

And then the emotional toll from my past can also make me feel so alone. Anyways, I just was feeling down and alone and beside myself in my late night musings and thoughts from my cave. Got my red fairy lights on, and thank god for weed (earth's medicine), sometimes it can take the edge off of everything! I now will go and smoke while listening to "Nights and White Satin" by the Moody Blues...and I will dream of better days ahead - can't wait till the "Shift" happens, I hope it happens soon...this world can't take much more and either can I? Come quickly shift...

Thank you to the Contest Sixties and Seventies Musicians for my art winning 1st place

February 10th, 2017

A big thank you to the Contest - Sixties and Seventies Musicians and my art piece titled: " Robert Plant - Led Zeppelin" winning 1st place finished on January 31th, 2017! Awesome, thank you to everyone who voted for my art 1st place...humbly accepted ~Blessings and Peace :)

Ps. Also in the contest my art titled: "Behind Blue Eyes - The Who" won 2nd place...wow!

Thank you to the contest...Buddha...won 3rd place for my art

January 23rd, 2017

A big thank you to: Contest -" Buddha" and my art piece titled: " Blue Lotus Buddha" winning 3rd place finished on January 23th, 2017! Awesome, thank you to everyone who voted for my art 3rd place...humbly accepted ~Blessings and Peace :)

Art Prints

Thank you to Contest - Gumdrops and Lollipops and other Tasty Treats win 3rd place

January 23rd, 2017

A little late to the show....Thank you to: Contest -" Gumdrops and Lollipops and other Tasty Treats" and my art titled "The Peppermint Elixir" winning 3rd place finished on September 26th, 2016! Awesome, thank you to everyone who voted for my art 3rd place...humbly accepted ~Blessings and Peace :)

Photography Prints

Feeling Good for Finishing 2nd in Contest...

March 27th, 2015

I am feeling good for finishing 2nd in the Contest - "Stars and Nebulas" that finished on March 14, 2015. Thank you for all who voted thinking my art was good enough for 2nd place...brings love in my heart! This was a special piece of art that I think turned out beautifully, and it is dear to my heart...because I think the angels are always near to us. Certainly the angels have been there for me in all of my trials and tribulations, therefore I give my tribute to them - thank you for all you do!

Photography Prints

Twilight Sky In The Realm Of Angels -

Twilight sky in the realm of angels
Is where I belong
I look with amazement
So many stars
I dream and never forget
This very beautiful night...

"Twilight Sky In The Realm Of Angels" poem by: Michelle LeAnn Scott

Feeling good for finishing 3rd in contest

March 3rd, 2015

I am feeling good for finishing 3rd in a contest called "Digital Dynasty" just noting it now - Thank you! Here's the art for it - "Platinum Blondie"

Art Prints

Taking time to Laugh...

February 12th, 2015

I am watching the old Saturday Night reruns on VH1 Classic - some of these skits are funnier than sh!t! They are playing the 2000's to the 1970's start - episode after episode. It started a couple of weeks ago...but I waited till they got to the early 80's years. Love the Eddie Murphy years and Everything in the 1970's - actually these are the only really funny ones! LMAO "Mister Robinson's Neighborhood" skit...ha ha too funny! After Eddie left...they just weren't that funny anymore!

Some of these artists are pretty funny and far out on here too, their bio pics and some of their artwork...it keeps me smiling even late at night! I love to see the creativity of many people on here, it's good to know some are a little bit on the weird side like me...LOL! Laughter is like good medicine, so true, this is even an old proverb...

The Chess Game

December 13th, 2014

The world seems to be crumbling around, everything is falling apart! F-it, I get so tired of figuring out stuff...just when you think you know what life is all about - something else comes up to blow your world apart. I feel like I am on one big chess board in a huge universe game of pawns here on a place called earth. You turn on news, they spin crap...you look on the net, this person has the answers, then this person, then another one?

It's like trying to get home but all kinds of roads this way and that way, detours, circled roads that bring you back to where you were before, and then of course the liars and tricksters. I figured out it's all a damn illusion, everywhere you go they just want you to be in fear, politically correct f-ing robots! I shall stay creating my art and "they" can kiss my ass, you don't own me and you are not my puppet-master...screw you! I have survived everyday of my life going through many fiery trials of hell on earth, and he stands in the fire with me. The darkness I have gone through, no one knows...but I will survive! I am a survivor, for I have earned a warrior's heart.

When things dont make sense in a world that doesnt play nice

November 19th, 2014

Sometimes I get so pissed off at all my health problems, it's like a constant energy drain. Sometimes I look at the "normal" people in society (you know the ones that look like they have their sh!t together on the outside) and wish I could have my health back and do all the "normal" stuff again - I feel I am always viewing life through tunnel vision. The outside looking in...

It can be quite frustrating when I am trying to be creative to do my art or think for that matter, but my excruciating migraines and headaches take up all my head space and put a vice on my head so much that you can't even think straight, let alone stand light or sound. Or when I can't walk because my lower back is all screwed up, and my neck hurts so bad it grinds when I move my head - and hurts day and night, sometimes it hurts so bad, just to turn over in bed makes me cry. Sometimes my arthritis is so bad, every joint and bone in my body hurts, including my hands throb and burn so bad it hurts to do my art. And recently I just got done having my kidneys screw with me, and suffered a mild heart attack. Not to mention all the other crap I go through on a daily basis - I know it sucks to be me...

Then not to mention not having ins because you can't afford it or no money because you can't work a normal job. Try going to the docs and just to walk in the damn office costs $250 or more - yeah frickin' hiway robbery ( I hate drs and the medical field they are high priced BS con artists, in cohoots with the ambulance chasers (the Lie-yers) and the big pharma pushers (poison peddlers) - and the big "O" and the gang on the hill all think they know whats best for all of us (the little people, the "peasants") by calling us stupid and conned us with their "bait and switch" game. Welcome to the good 'ol us of a, whatever happen to the "Hippocratic Oath" that the docs and the medical community were supposed to uphold ethics and abide by, without corruption? If I were to let these do what they want with me, I would be dead by now!

Sometimes the "norms" don't know how good they have it? Because after all, health is a precious commodity! The smallest of things most take for granted, it can be hell for people like me - welcome to my world! My body has been broken, my emotions have been tested, my mind has been stretched, my spirit has been tried by fire, but my soul has gained strength I never knew. Through prayer, spirituality, laughter, nature, holistic medicine and the ancient paths of old, eastern medicine, and a few western meds...my hope kicks in. I am ready to go home when that time comes, but for now I create whenever I can and "f" the rest! I am an old soul - sometimes I ask what the hell was I thinking to incarnate into this life with this blueprint, was I crazy or what? Oh I forgot, I am one of those crazy artist types...

And that is my rant for the evening...

(this is my personal journal - it's therapeutic for me to do this - it helps sometimes to empty my head)

Late at night ramblings...

October 10th, 2014

I love staying up late and creating art, it's when I am my most creative. Day time is such a drag; the noise, the lights and all the other interference. Besides it takes me till noon to get my sh!t together anyways, never quite awake till late afternoon. Drawbacks at night is I have to compete with the ghosts and other weirdness including my mind...LOL!

Never quite got this blog thing here, I think I will use it like a journal? It's not like I have to write my every move, I never got why some people are like that? Seriously write a tweet for everything they do, and facebook all those "fake" friends...strange, *shakes* head in disbelief? I like creating in my cave, the yuppies can have their world - I do just fine on the outside looking in at all the chaos.

Watching the news is getting so weird, everyday gets weirder and weirder - I think I am in a lucid dream? Thank God, I have Jesus my friend with me and my art skills...I just don't know how people can cope with all this crap lately? New meds help to deal a bit better, Okay I think I emptied my head enough for tonight...

 

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